I'll bring the plates

People lie.  Two words, no truer sentence has ever been typed.  Unfortunately, we lie because we think we have to.  Everyone feels judged.  Thanks to social media they are judged.  Be honest with yourself (no one will know) do you troll Facebook and sit in shock over things you read and see?
Especially us mommas.  No matter what we always feel like someone is better than us.  Or at least that is how I feel.  My guess is you do too (wink).

I know I have mentioned several times that we have 4 active children, and I'll probably mention it again too.  They all play sports and they are all competitive and time consuming.  Our family is "blended".  Go ahead and judge that one too, if you must.  But because we are "blended" we try to make sure every child gets the same amount of time and attention.  That is not an easy task.  Quite frankly, many times its darn near impossible.

Every team has a team mom or some form of organizer.  This is one time that being on the NMO spectrum isn't terrible, but it is kind of a Catch 22.  I hate to even type this but it's true so here goes;
I am no longer dependable.  I never know when I may "flare" or "relapse" or just feel like poop.  Therefore, I never volunteer for that position.  I know that at least 2 moms whisper about how "Olivia's mom never does anything for the team anymore."  When I first found out I was having kids I remember telling my friend that I "couldn't wait to be the homeroom mom" or "go to Toys R Us on Black Friday to get their toys."  So at first, when I was unable to commit, I was very bothered by it, I couldn't stand the thought that the "whisperers" thought I was a bad mom, or that Olivia's mom "wouldn't be in the school Christmas party pictures serving juice boxes" that were eventually posted on Facebook or Instagram.  However, I have since come to realize that might be a blessing.  God was saving me from myself.  If I had to hang out with the "whispering moms" making toilet paper mummies at Halloween for too long I may have started judging other moms too.  You never know someones situation and 9 times out of 10 if they could be organizing the cake walk they would.  The reality is people work, people travel and unfortunately people get sick.

The "whisperers" are the whole reason we need 100 team moms now.  It has gotten so out of control that the VOLUNTEER coaches got sick of dealing with moms and decided to give them a role.  Somehow their role kept getting bigger and bigger until it was too hard to keep up.  Especially for people like me.  I can't even tell you that I will be there for sure (although I do my best for the kiddos), but I certainly can tell you that I will not be there with 25 applesauce, juice box robots in hand?!?  Shoot, before I got sick I remember one Saturday when it was my turn to bring the snacks, I forgot.  Guess what?  If your child was on my child's team they got a bag of last years Halloween pretzels and pack of gummies that my kids didn't like so they had been in the pantry for a while.  Sorry, it's the truth.

Team moms listen up.  I sincerely thank you for what you are doing, I really do.  I would love to help you with whatever you need but you truly can not count on me.  I am not dependable, though I have the best of intentions.  Seriously, don't ask me to do anything crucial or on a time table.  However, I will always bring or send the plates, but I am not going to promise to label or bedazzle them.  Sorry, but everyone should not get a snack or certificate anyway.  Snacks and sprinkles are for winners so you only need 8 not 25.  Send your kid to the concession stand like we used to do.

Speaking of concession stands if I am there and I feel OK I will happily work the concession stand.  But, and no matter what you tell me, my kids or my husband, I am not signing up.  If I feel like crap and it's my turn in the concession stand, I refuse to send myself into a relapse over Mountain Dew and Laffy Taffy.  But I used to.  I would sign up and work when I felt bad just so people wouldn't talk about me until Todd told me it was time for me to learn to say "no".  I think he even made me practice saying it.  I did it for my kids.  I didn't want anyone talking about my kids either.  My kids are fantastic at the sports they have chosen now but the few they tried before were not their sports.  I worked lots of concession stands so people wouldn't talk and so they would think my kids were a valuable part of the team.

So, because of this stupid disease I feel like a worthless mother at times.  There is nothing more important to me than my family and I hate disappointing them or having to worry someone is talking behind their back but in front of their ears.  I may come to the Easter Egg Hunt to watch my child and that's OK.  I promise I sent eggs, I just am not able to hide them that day.  I am pretty much always on the sideline cheering for my child but I am not always able to make french fries that day.

I rarely tell my kids I don't feel well but sometimes it is necessary.  "Sorry, Olivia but I can't sign up for Santa's Workshop (which is my favorite)because I am not dependable."  This is not the way I pictured explaining the meaning of "dependable" to my daughter.  Or, when there is a "pick your time slot" rule I have to send the paper back incomplete and in her eyes they just got a bad grade.  Really, I should be the one getting a "D" for not dependable.

The word "maybe" has become a word I hate.  It's also the most truthful word I speak.  Luckily, I have a great family and an amazing set of friends.  Just last week I was supposed to have lunch with one of my best friends but woke up with a horrible headache and eye pain.  The kids had tennis that evening and it was crazy hot outside.  I knew to even have the chance at sitting through their matches, I had to cancel lunch.  My friends are always fantastic, always understanding and willing to take a rain check to an unknown date and time.  They know that could get cancelled too.

God Bless the team moms and PTA presidents!  You do a lot of work and I know it is a thankless job.  I also know the ones I've talked about in this entry are few and far between.  Most of the time you all step up and do what everyone else doesn't.   I would love to help those team moms more.  However, I won't be volunteering.  But, don't worry I can find what you need on Amazon Prime and get it to school ASAP.  Heck, I'll do the plates AND the cups.  I can even order colored ones if you feel like that is necessary.  But, it's a crap shoot if I'll be there to hand them out.