You want what...for what???

You want what….For what???



                For those of you who can remember the days of chasing a Cabbage Patch Doll or a Tickle Me Elmo, let me tell you I can relate.  I’m not chasing anything as fun as that.  Instead I am chasing sterile water.  That’s right folks, sterile flipping water.  Apparently, its quite the sought after item you can only get it in the pharmacy with a prescription, oh AND it has to be ordered.

                So, I have recently added a super fun activity to my night time routine.  It’s not every night, lets not get carried away, I am too old to have that much fun every night.  On the “party nights” as I like to call them I get to wash out my bladder.  Stop!  Don’t be jealous.  And, most importantly don’t every say I don’t know how to have a good time! 

                My doctor has decided washing my bladder might help me stop getting UTI’s every other week.  He did write a prescription for the sterile water but, my insurance won’t pay for it.  I don’t know about you but I don’t see sterile water a being that expensive, but what do I know?  Instead of fighting with insurance, which I have gotten good at, I decided I could find it on my own. 

                OTC sterile water, how hard can that be to find?  If it would cure my UTI problem I’m going to find it quick too.  Once I found out how hard it was to find I flashed back to having to call around for my hard to get pain medicine.  After sitting in my car for a little while trying to get control of the flashbacks, I decided I really didn’t want to be a “seeker” again calling all the local pharmacies and asking for sterile water.  In my mind it sounded like a prank call, you know kind of like, “hello, is your refrigerator running?  Well, you better go catch it.”  But instead I would have to ramble on about how I have NMO and it has caused a neurogenic bladder and blah, blah, blah.  So I decided I could just go into the pharmacy and maybe they would see I wasn’t “jonesing” for the sterile water.  You know because the hot new trend is “sterile water addiction.”  I can just see the Dateline episode, “Sterile water it’s not just for bladder washing anymore.”

                I really wish I would have worn the Go Pro and caught the exchanges.  I would walk in the pharmacy approach the counter with hope in my eyes and say, “Hi, I have a rare auto-immune disease and it has caused my bladder to suck and long story short I need to do a bladder washes.  Unfortunately, I can’t get the sterile water to put in my catheter to do them.  Do you carry it?  I have a prescription, I am not “seeking” but my insurance has decided to pay for Viagra instead of sterile water right now?”  That was all in one breath too.  I was embarrassed and anxious, and I talk fast anyway (according to my mom) so it came out in warp speed.  And I was always asking a 19-20 yr old young adult most likely on their first day at their first “real job.”  Their reaction was priceless, “you need what?  You want to put it where?”  Mostly though it was, “Ummm, Ok, let me ask because I don’t what that is.”  I was asking way too much, I am pretty sure several of them couldn’t spell “NMO.”  One young man, I kid you not actually began to wiggle with a look of horror when I said the word “catheter.”  At first it was funny (and pathetic) but as it became my daily routine for the better part of a week it got very old.  I would go out on my daily errands and stop at every pharmacy I passed to ask the same question, tell the same story over and over.  Not to mention I would eventually get the same answer every single time, “I’m sorry ma’am, but you need a prescription from your doctor for that.”  Seriously?  Is this stuff liquid gold?  This is completely insane!

Thank the Good Lord I have smart friends.  One day my friend and I were texting back and forth about our kids and tennis.  I happened to mention to her that I was at Drug Emporium.  She texted back, “I just left there.”  Jokingly I responded, “Did you buy all the sterile water while you were there?”  I had told her the day before what was going on so she knew the struggle was real.  She responded with 2 words, 2 beautiful, genus words, “Try Amazon.”  A light bulb went off in my head, I heard angels singing, I may have even squealed a little.  Why in the world had I not thought of that?  We have Amazon prime and use it ALL THE TIME!

                Right there in the Drug Emporium parking lot I got on my fancy new iphone and I ordered sterile water.  It took all of 45 seconds to find and order.  Not only did I find and order it, I ordered it through Rakuten app so I got cash back, 10% cash back on that particular day.  Sit down it gets better, since we have Prime I also got free 2 day shipping.  Just like clockwork 2 days later it was at my door!

                Gennifer Curry, thank you for being brilliant and saving my bladder!  Amazon should put you on payroll!