Take a nap and pass the Lysol

What do an old bed sheet, a handsome masked man, container of homemade Clorox wipes and an “adult only” zone have in common? Nope. Not the weirdest “adult movie” you have ever heard of. It is the way the Aldridge’s do the groceries these days. To say I am overly cautious would be an understatement.


Todd goes to the store the second they open, and yes, he must go. Walmart and Kroger have no pickup times available anymore and unfortunately, Insta Cart continues to tell me that they do not deliver to our zip code? I do not even live “out” so what the heck? Hey, Insta Cart, let’s step that up a little bit? Anyway, it does not matter we love our local Piggly Wiggly so we, well Todd, goes there. Because of CoVID-19, I am not going anywhere for a while. Even if I wanted to, it would not be allowed.


I absolutely dread it when Todd goes to the store. Not only because I do not want to him to get sick but because the process to unload it and put everything up is both mentally and physically draining. As a matter of fact, I took a nap after we finished this past time. Honestly, I was exhausted before he even left.


The night before he went, I could not sleep. I was so worried. I am sure by now you have realized that anxiety is not my friend. All the “what ifs” were circling through my mind. On a side note, my parents used to say that they should have named me “what if” because it was pretty much all I ever said, so maybe I am not super anxious, just brilliant and inquisitive? Right now, I am anxious, “Corona Crazy” as Todd likes to call me. Back to the “what ifs” battling in my mind. “What if” someone coughs on him? “What if” someone gets in his social distancing zone, which according to him does happen. Back up people, what the heck? I told him to take a horn or whistle, but he laughed, I was a little bit serious though.  “What if” I do not get something wiped off and one of my kids get sick? Because, “what if” my homemade Clorox wipes do not really work (thanks hoarders, that one is on you)! All of those “what ifs” had me up at 3am. I was talking to myself, talking to God, talking to the dog, pacing, crying and laughing at myself.


At 7:15, it was showtime. I made coffee and took it up to wake him. I was nervous I noticed that my hand was shaking carrying up the coffee. Todd is NOT a morning person, not even a little bit, seriously not at all. But he is a good person and he gets me. Instead of growling or scowling at me for waking him he just said “thanks” grabbed his hat and was ready to go. I walked with him towards the door. It was like I was sending him to war. He stopped looked at me, tears in my eyes (get a grip Julie), hugged me and told me it would be “ok”. He grabbed his mask and the little bottle of hand sanitizer I had instructed him to use throughout the store and off he went. I went right back to freaking out and pacing. Seriously, I need sleep I can see that now I was losing my mind. About an hour later he called and was done and headed home. He reported that he had found everything but of course Clorox wipes, Lysol and toilet paper (again, thank you hoarders)! I had a strategic plan that I laid out for him so he would know what was going to happen when he got home. We would unload it; I would wipe it and put it up and he would shower. He just said “ok” like he usually does when he knows I am dead serious (or he is only half listening.)   I think he has learned to not mess with my “Corona Crazy” plans though.


I ran upstairs and grabbed an old bed sheet and spread it out on the kitchen floor. To me that was safe and smart because nothing touches the floor and that could be our “dirty zone”. To Todd, it was a little nutty but again he went with it.


As planned, we loaded everything on to the towel. I told him to go to shower and I started to wipe. I was working hard, shoot, I was starting to sweat. Not sure if that was nerves or just from being so out of shape? My money is on both. I was afraid my crappy immune system was going to breathe in some form of CoVID air. It took a while, but I got it done, wiped everything in the kitchen down too. I know you are probably asking yourself, “what about the bags?”  Well here is where I thought I was brilliant, you may call it insane, whichever word you prefer, go for it. All the bags never touched the floor or any of the food. I just gathered all the bags with the sheet and threw it all away in a giant black contractor bag and took it to the trash can outside.


I showered immediately, washed all our clothes, and thought I would calm down. I think Todd did too. It has been several days, and I am still anxious and talking about it. I hate worrying every time I get something out of the fridge. Did I wipe this well enough? Will it make the kids sick? Enough Corona! Go away!


People say, “calm down, it’ll be ok?”  or “Quit watching the news”, Awesome, if that works for you. It does not work for me. Thanks to NMO I have no choice but to be overly cautious. If I get sick with a cold, I do not just bounce back. I wish I did. I have accepted that I do not. I thought I was at peace with it. I was wrong because I am not at peace with this. This is awful, I am scared to do anything. I know what the worst-case scenario is for a person without an auto immune disease and I promise you it is different for a person like me. It is worst-case scenario for my family and that is what I am most worried about. Honestly, I am not worried about me, I am worried about them if they get sick or if something happens to me. I have put them through so much already with my NMO, I am not ready to add this to their plate.


I always say I will not let NMO win, but I think this time it has. I am not ready to give up the fight, but I am also not ready to touch the mail without spraying it more than once with Lysol.

What's on your mind

What’s on your mind



Unfortunately, our house has been filled with illness since 2020 began.  I would not call it the “Year of the Aldridges”.   It started with Olivia in the hospital for a kidney infection.  Todd has a horrible sinus infection.  Jack tested positive for Flu B.  Sophi has a minor surgery that was very painful.  Finally, Olivia got the flu which turned into pneumonia and just to make sure she was the winner, “most sick game,” she threw in a UTI just for kicks.  At some point I slept in everyone’s room at least one night, got Gatorade at 3am and thanked God for the privilege of being a mom so I could do everything they needed.  But I went weeks with barely in any sleep, and I was starting to feel very run down.  Once everyone was better, I had big plans to sleep.  Then Corona hit.  


Barely any sleep for this momma meant headaches became more frequent, my bladder got super lazy, which meant more UTIs and more bladder washings, my left leg starts to drag a little more and worst of all my brain gets fuzzy and irrational.  

Watching the “Corona News” was the worst thing I could do.  I’m also a big fan of The Walking Dead, so I had already planned of where we would escape too.   I made sure it was a sturdy brick building with supplies and close to gas stations, grocery stores and places where we could find weapons if we needed to.  I knew Rick would be proud.  I had even told Todd where we should go. and why.  He laughed but also looked at me like, “what the heck do I do with this”? 


Not only was Todd walking behind me and saying, “Got to pick that leg up,” he was telling me to calm down and to get some sleep, please get some sleep.  He was right, I see that now that I have slept (but don’t tell him he was right).  I was losing my mind, I was going “Corona Crazy”.  Literally.


Let me explain what I mean by crazy, and fasten your seatbelts folks this is going to be a bumpy ride: 

Here is the scene:  It is 2:30 am I am in my precious recliner with my electric blanket watching something fascinating on TLC.  And, my brain starts talking to me, you probably won’t be able to follow this train of thought and feel free to laugh.  It’s ok I know I was a lunatic.

“Gosh, I wish my brain would slow down it is running the 100-meter dash in the Olympics.  The Olympics, oh crap, they can’t have the Olympics it’s in Tokyo, too much Corona in Asia.  All those poor athletes training so hard for this, their sacrifices, their parents sacrifice that really stinks.  All the spectators, all the money lost and their vacations.  Vacations, we are supposed to go to Hilton Head for Spring Break, we can’t do that.  Sheesh, Olivia, Barrett and most of all my mom will be so disappointed.  Mom, oh no, mom has terrible lungs she can’t catch this.  Bad lungs, Olivia’s asthma has been out of control lately.  She has had flu and pneumonia recently how do I keep her from getting sick?  What can I do?  I know, vitamins, I’ll load them all up on vitamins.  We are almost out though.  I order some from Amazon right now.  Go back Julie, you need to go through Rakuten to get the rebate from Amazon.  Rebate, we need that for sure.  Poor Todd, he’s amazing, he supports us all and soon he won’t be able to work, He can’t go into hospitals and doctors’ offices, they won’t allow it.  He must stay healthy and not only that he could bring that home to Olivia and me.  My last counts barely showed and IGG or IGM and pretty much no IGA.  My leg is so heavy right now I must do something, I refuse to use a cane or be in a wheelchair.  Don’t be a wimp, Julie.  I really do hate this disease.”

It is now 2:31 am and I am crying, shaking and scared.  I worked myself into a panic.  Plus, once I realized I am crying, and my heart is about to jump out of my chest I get extremely mad at myself and I cry harder.  This cycle goes on for a couple hours and I usually fall asleep right before my alarm goes off and it’s time to start the day.  It is kind of a vicious cycle. 


This went on for a couple weeks until Todd finally had to take control.  As we have discussed before, I still look at him with stars in my eyes.  He would listen to my craziness.  He never dismissed me.  He never laughed, either.  He would just give his normal response, “OK honey” over and over.  However, one day I looked in his eyes and I saw it, the thing I hate the most from him, “pity and worry”.  He looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Please, you have to sleep”.  It crushes me.  He is worried.  He feels sorry for me.   Ok, I can’t handle that at all, so I just say, “I’ll sleep”.  It took some “brain convincing” but I did it.  I had to tell my brain that the kids would be ok if I slept for a little bit, that Todd would be ok, that I was going to find the cure to Corona, that nothing would change while I was asleep, that it was good for me.  I had to outsmart my brain. 


It took a few days/nights to get my brain to shut down, but it did get quieter until one night I slept.  I slept 11 hours straight.  It was amazing!  And, while I felt a little guilty about it, I knew it was the right thing to do.  For 2 days I wore PJs and I slept. I felt so much better after that.  So.Much.Better.


Sometimes it seems hard to slow down.  When I actually slow down, I feel defeated.  As I’ve said many times before, I don’t want this stupid disease to run my life.  But if I don’t learn to slow down and listen to my body, it may ruin my life.  I need to learn to how to choose what is more important.  I choose me, my family, my kids and our life.  So, I’ll slow down, I’ll try to quit worrying and I’ll sleep. 


FYI- sleeping feels fantastic and right now my brain is focused on happy things not panicky things.  And, it’s a good thing too because on the 5^th day of Quarantine I told my family I was walking into the woods and they were not to come find me. 

To be continued…