Take a nap and pass the Lysol

What do an old bed sheet, a handsome masked man, container of homemade Clorox wipes and an “adult only” zone have in common? Nope. Not the weirdest “adult movie” you have ever heard of. It is the way the Aldridge’s do the groceries these days. To say I am overly cautious would be an understatement.


Todd goes to the store the second they open, and yes, he must go. Walmart and Kroger have no pickup times available anymore and unfortunately, Insta Cart continues to tell me that they do not deliver to our zip code? I do not even live “out” so what the heck? Hey, Insta Cart, let’s step that up a little bit? Anyway, it does not matter we love our local Piggly Wiggly so we, well Todd, goes there. Because of CoVID-19, I am not going anywhere for a while. Even if I wanted to, it would not be allowed.


I absolutely dread it when Todd goes to the store. Not only because I do not want to him to get sick but because the process to unload it and put everything up is both mentally and physically draining. As a matter of fact, I took a nap after we finished this past time. Honestly, I was exhausted before he even left.


The night before he went, I could not sleep. I was so worried. I am sure by now you have realized that anxiety is not my friend. All the “what ifs” were circling through my mind. On a side note, my parents used to say that they should have named me “what if” because it was pretty much all I ever said, so maybe I am not super anxious, just brilliant and inquisitive? Right now, I am anxious, “Corona Crazy” as Todd likes to call me. Back to the “what ifs” battling in my mind. “What if” someone coughs on him? “What if” someone gets in his social distancing zone, which according to him does happen. Back up people, what the heck? I told him to take a horn or whistle, but he laughed, I was a little bit serious though.  “What if” I do not get something wiped off and one of my kids get sick? Because, “what if” my homemade Clorox wipes do not really work (thanks hoarders, that one is on you)! All of those “what ifs” had me up at 3am. I was talking to myself, talking to God, talking to the dog, pacing, crying and laughing at myself.


At 7:15, it was showtime. I made coffee and took it up to wake him. I was nervous I noticed that my hand was shaking carrying up the coffee. Todd is NOT a morning person, not even a little bit, seriously not at all. But he is a good person and he gets me. Instead of growling or scowling at me for waking him he just said “thanks” grabbed his hat and was ready to go. I walked with him towards the door. It was like I was sending him to war. He stopped looked at me, tears in my eyes (get a grip Julie), hugged me and told me it would be “ok”. He grabbed his mask and the little bottle of hand sanitizer I had instructed him to use throughout the store and off he went. I went right back to freaking out and pacing. Seriously, I need sleep I can see that now I was losing my mind. About an hour later he called and was done and headed home. He reported that he had found everything but of course Clorox wipes, Lysol and toilet paper (again, thank you hoarders)! I had a strategic plan that I laid out for him so he would know what was going to happen when he got home. We would unload it; I would wipe it and put it up and he would shower. He just said “ok” like he usually does when he knows I am dead serious (or he is only half listening.)   I think he has learned to not mess with my “Corona Crazy” plans though.


I ran upstairs and grabbed an old bed sheet and spread it out on the kitchen floor. To me that was safe and smart because nothing touches the floor and that could be our “dirty zone”. To Todd, it was a little nutty but again he went with it.


As planned, we loaded everything on to the towel. I told him to go to shower and I started to wipe. I was working hard, shoot, I was starting to sweat. Not sure if that was nerves or just from being so out of shape? My money is on both. I was afraid my crappy immune system was going to breathe in some form of CoVID air. It took a while, but I got it done, wiped everything in the kitchen down too. I know you are probably asking yourself, “what about the bags?”  Well here is where I thought I was brilliant, you may call it insane, whichever word you prefer, go for it. All the bags never touched the floor or any of the food. I just gathered all the bags with the sheet and threw it all away in a giant black contractor bag and took it to the trash can outside.


I showered immediately, washed all our clothes, and thought I would calm down. I think Todd did too. It has been several days, and I am still anxious and talking about it. I hate worrying every time I get something out of the fridge. Did I wipe this well enough? Will it make the kids sick? Enough Corona! Go away!


People say, “calm down, it’ll be ok?”  or “Quit watching the news”, Awesome, if that works for you. It does not work for me. Thanks to NMO I have no choice but to be overly cautious. If I get sick with a cold, I do not just bounce back. I wish I did. I have accepted that I do not. I thought I was at peace with it. I was wrong because I am not at peace with this. This is awful, I am scared to do anything. I know what the worst-case scenario is for a person without an auto immune disease and I promise you it is different for a person like me. It is worst-case scenario for my family and that is what I am most worried about. Honestly, I am not worried about me, I am worried about them if they get sick or if something happens to me. I have put them through so much already with my NMO, I am not ready to add this to their plate.


I always say I will not let NMO win, but I think this time it has. I am not ready to give up the fight, but I am also not ready to touch the mail without spraying it more than once with Lysol.